


Forever is Another Day

by Tarlan



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Community: mcsheplets, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-02-12
Updated: 2008-02-12
Packaged: 2017-10-21 05:49:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/221630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When John is lost inside a virtual environment, Rodney has to find a way to save him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forever is Another Day

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a series of ficlets for LJ McSheplets table challenges: Angst, Suspicion, First Time, Lifeline and Sleepy

1\. **Forever is Another Day in Hell**

"Anything?"

Rodney dropped his head into his hands and sighed in bone deep weariness. He knew the device was creating a virtual environment, like the one used by the Aurora's crew, but he could not find a way in. He looked up, blinking rapidly from fatigue, and stared at the figure caught within the stasis field. John looked as though he was merely sleeping, his eyes closed, thick dark lashes curving across fine cheek bones. His lips were slightly parted, as if awaiting a lover's kiss and Rodney groaned, wishing it could be the stuff of fairy tales, that it could be that easy.

"Colonel Tenham says you can have two more hours...and then..."

Rodney nodded, and Lorne turned away having delivered the unwanted message. After four years, two months, eleven days and seven hours, Rodney had learned not to argue, aware that they could pull him away from this research, and if he made it difficult for them then they would refuse to allow him back to continue working on his own theories. Oh, they had not abandoned John completely, and there were others working on this technology full time but they were not the best the SGC had to offer, only the best they could spare, and their best was not good enough.

"McKay?"

He sat upright and turned to face Ronon, seeing the question in the dark eyes and shaking his head. Ronon stepped up and sat down beside Rodney, staring into the monitor that revealed part of the virtual world that John had built around himself.

"He happy in there?"

"I don't know. Maybe. No. I don't think so. He still thinks we're fighting the Wraith."

He gave a short bark of a laugh because they'd defeated the Wraith years ago, before John touched the interface and lost himself in a forever war where the Wraith worked their way around every obstacle thrown in their path. The Ancients had built this scenario maker to chart all the possibilities for defeating the Wraith, and the consequences of winning, but had never factored in the lunacy of pure luck. Carson's retrovirus had worked in reality where it had failed in the scenario, humanizing all of the Wraith, and wiping out their genetic need to feed off humans, making them human.

He watched as an image of himself appeared in John's world, chest tightening in jealousy for his virtual counterpart. He felt the burn of unshed tears as John smiled at this false Rodney, finally forced to look away.

"Why couldn't it be a fairy tale?" he whispered. Why couldn't he simply kiss the softly begging lips and awaken the sleeping beauty? Why couldn't fairy tales come true?

****

2\. **Tomorrow is Another Day Without You**

There were times, especially in the quiet moments, when he was almost convinced that his whole life was some sort of game being played out on Atlantis. He couldn't exactly place a finger on the point of contention but he knew something was wrong in the way they never seemed to catch a break in their fight against the Wraith.

So many times, they had come up with a plan that almost seemed foolproof only to fail over some technicality or an adverse reaction to whatever they attempted. It was if someone, somewhere, was deliberately sabotaging every effort they made to win the war, pointing out all the flaws in every plan. On days like this, it made his head hurt so bad that all he wanted to do was crash on his bed, close his eyes, and pretend the whole universe had ceased to exist for just a few short hours. He was tired and feeling more drained than if he'd been fed on by a Wraith, and he didn't understand why.

Only one thing kept him going each day and that was Rodney, his constant within the neverending stream of death, confusion and technobabble, always there with a quick, smug grin and those endlessly blue eyes. Several times he thought he had lost him to the vagaries of an uncaring universe, forcing his will upon it until it submitted and gave him back what he prized most. Sometimes, he triumphed over insurmountable odds to bring Rodney home, unable to entertain the idea of spending the rest of his existence without the man's presence by his side. He needed Rodney, seeing him as the only true purpose, and his only meaning in life.

He just wished that Rodney could want him back with equal passion, feeling as if someone had tried to cut out his heart with a blunt spoon today when Rodney showed him the ring intended for Katie Brown.

The door to his quarters opened and he stepped inside, hand wearily rubbing the back of his neck as he made his way towards the too-small bed, wondering if Rodney was celebrating his engagement at this very moment.

He should have been mine!

"Colonel Sheppard?"

John started, hand pulling his ever-present sidearm in one smooth move. "Who the hell are you? And what are you doing in my quarters?"

The stranger gave a confused laugh, then held up his hands. "Please, I'm not sure... I never expected..." He cleared his throat. "Colonel, this is a dream, an illusion created when you touched an Ancient scenario making device. We're trying to find a way to wake you up. You have to..."

John blinked rapidly at the empty space where a complete stranger had been standing only moments before. His thoughts raced through memories; of the Replicators, of the mist creatures on M5S-224, and of the virtual environment on-board the _Aurora_. Could it be true?

He'd had his suspicions for a long time, and now he understood the reason why.

****

3\. **Yesterday is Another Day Lost Forever by Tarlan**

"Unauthorized off-world activation." The Canadian technician frowned. "Receiving radio transmission from P37 FPC..."

Rodney was already in motion at the mention of the planet's designation, fingers snapping as he ordered the technician to move. He dropped into the quickly vacated seat.

"This is McKay."

"Dr. McKay, we had a breakthrough!"

He barely registered Elizabeth's fingers squeezing his shoulder as he listened to Meiers' excited words, eyes seeking Elizabeth, wide and desperate, not needing to voice what he wanted, what he needed.

"Go," she said, and Rodney didn't need to ask for clarification, racing away to get his off-world equipment, and leaving Elizabeth to forewarn Meiers of his imminent arrival.

As he grappled with the TAC vest, checking pockets quickly but thoroughly, he recalled the first time they had stepped onto that hostile world. John had been with them, with his bright inquisitive eyes, his messy hair, and his soft smirk. The Ancient installation lay mostly below ground, and what remained on the surface was pitted with Wraith weapons' fire, and had slowly been eaten away by time and acid rain. Nothing grew on that desolate world except for the most hardy plants. Finding a way into the installation was easier than anticipated as part of the roof had collapsed at some point over the past century or two. Inside, the layout had looked familiar from the dozens of laboratories they had come across in Atlantis but it had reminded Rodney specifically of the room where they had found the ancient Elizabeth.

"Don't touch anything," he had stated but he should have known John would never keep his fingers to himself.

Sometimes Rodney wondered if he should have ordered John *not* to touch *him*, wanting to know if that rebellious streak might have led to the sort of touching that Rodney had longed for almost from the moment he first set eyes on John. His skin still tingled from the memory of inadvertent touches; a pat on his bare arm, a flick to his ear and a teasing smack upside the head. He still recalled the firm body against his own, arm slung over John's shoulder as he half ran, half limped towards the Stargate with an arrow in his ass.

John had stepped into the small alcove, fingers tracing the smooth metal wall only to yell out as a hidden door closed tightly behind him, locking him in. Four years, three months, two days and one hour ago. He frowned at the coincidence. 4...3...2...1 but nothing happened. The door had resisted every attempt to open it, and the colorless gas and filament wires that had shot out from the interior wall, still kept John in stasis, caught in a dreaming state.

Rodney went through all the steps with Meiers, eyes widening at the pure chance that had found the key into the virtual environment. With care, he let Meiers hook him up to the machinery, and closed his eyes. When he opened them, he was standing in John's virtual room, the light of two moons shining through the open balcony door. John startled awake, snatching his gun from the bedside table and pointing it at Rodney.

"Rodney?"

Rodney let out a ragged breath upon hearing his name spoken directly to him rather than to his virtual counterpart, his response falling almost like a prayer.

"John."

****

4\. **Today is Another Day to Live Again by Tarlan**

John lowered the gun and ordered up the lights, heart beating wildly in his chest at the expression on Rodney's face. This was not the same man he had played golf with earlier today, not the same man who had shown him a ring intended for another. This Rodney was looking at him like a drowning man reaching for a lifeline. This was the Rodney of his dreams, the one who whispered promises during the darkest hours, when they lost Carson, then Elizabeth.

He had put the strange event from earlier down to the physical and emotional rollercoaster of the day, determined to look into the stranger's claims tomorrow. If it was true, that he was caught in a virtual reality, then who could he trust? And if the stranger had been a figment of his overwrought imagination then could he trust Carter and Keller not to declare him unfit for duty and send him home on the Daedalus? In truth, he didn't know them well enough to trust them. That had left his team but Teyla and Ronon were still off-world and Rodney...

Rodney shouldn't be standing at the end of his bed looking at him with such pain and longing.

He pushed down the gleeful thought that Katie had turned Rodney down, almost hating himself for not wanting Rodney to be happy with another.

It should have been me, he thought bitterly.

"I guess you and Katie..?"

Rodney looked at him in confusion. "Katie?" He gave himself a visible mental shake. "John, I don't know how much time I have..." He broke off, grimacing, expressive hands cutting through the air, hands that John had wanted to feel on his own flesh for so long. "None of this is real. You initialized the interface to a virtual environment designed to track all the possibilities from any given scenario for defeating the Wraith. You have to end the scenario, you have to..."

John saw him swallow hard.

"You have to... dolmata. You have to tell the interface to sleep, to switch off."

"Dolmata?"

"Yes! Dol--"

John blinked but Rodney was gone, shock holding him for a several vital seconds as an overwhelming sense of loss hit him so hard he could barely breathe. He reached for the comm sitting on the bedside table, pulling it on and almost called Rodney.

"Dolmata," he murmured aloud, wondering where he had heard that word before.

His thoughts turned to the Rodney who had stood in his room only moments ago, to a face filled with all the longing he had desperately wanted to see in those eyes, aimed solely at him. For that reason alone, he lay back on his too-small bed and closed his eyes, letting the background hum of Atlantis pull to the foreground as he whispered, "Dolmata."

Pain tore through him and he gasped, opening his eyes to a strangely familiar place, to the smoothness of a transparent surface only inches in front of his nose, and to faces filled with hope just beyond. He focused on one particular face, caught in the intensity of blue eyes wide with joy.

"Rodney," he croaked, unable to brace himself as the lid pulled back and he fell, straight into the arms of the man he loved.

****

5\. **Forever Begins Today by Tarlan**

The parade of well-wishers had slowly passed through, each one leaving an imprint of warmth behind them, for him and for the man sleeping soundly in the infirmary bed. Years of spending almost every waking, off-duty moment, and sometimes his dreams, trying to puzzle out the Ancient system holding John captive had settled over him with bone-deep weariness, the relief at seeing John freed from the virtual environment almost overpowering him. He could not rest though, no matter how many soft words of encouragement spilled from others' lips.

Carson was positive that John would be fine, that the life support system in the pod had maintained his physical wellbeing and had not allowed his muscles to atrophy. Kate Heightmeyer was certain from her regular check-ups of his mental state through the VE monitoring system, that he was strong enough to handle the virtual loss of four years of his life. Elizabeth trusted their judgment implicitly but Rodney needed to see to believe. He needed to be there when John awoke from his first natural sleep in over four years, wanted to be here to reassure him that this was the real world, and not a dream or a nightmare, depending on what scenario had played out before resetting itself over and over.

Rodney sighed. At least Rodney had not died in this latest scenario, though he wondered at John's mindset that he usually met his fate by either drowning or being eaten by a Wraith. This time, though, Carson had fallen to an exploding tumor. Rodney would have sniggered at the thought had they not found a machine in one of the damaged labs that could create such a weapon in anyone suicidal enough to want to become a walking time bomb.

He caught a flicker of movement just as his own eyes began to flutter closed with fatigue, bolting upright to watch the small frown on John's sleepy face. Dark eyelashes flickered then his eyes opened to narrow slits, pupils dilated but contracting rapidly with the light in the infirmary.

"Rodney?"

His voice wasn't the same harsh croak from disuse but was still hoarse, and Rodney grinned, knowing he probably looked like an idiot at this moment but, for once, he didn't care.

"Hey," he breathed softly, knowing he ought to yell for Carson but feeling too selfish, wanting to keep John to himself for just a few minutes longer. "Welcome home."

"Home?" he murmured sleepily and, somehow, his fingers closed over Rodney's, squeezing gently.

It seemed the most natural thing in the world to lean over John and kiss him--a soft brush of lips, a sweep of tongue--but Rodney pulled back in alarm, terrified that he had allowed debilitating tiredness to lead to a loss of good sense. Strong fingers prevented his retreat, drawing him back down into a sweeter, deeper kiss, both of them breathing heavily when the kiss ended.

John smiled up at Rodney, eyes alight with pleasure. "Now I'm home."

END


End file.
